Wednesday 13 November 2013

The Venus Flytrap

That the venus flytrap is very closely related to the vampire bat is surely no longer in dispute. To consider this fruit of the Hells as a plant betrays an ignorance that could be considered comical were it not so shamefully at home in my own fair country.

Swallowing large birds and small deer without so much as a blush, the venus flytrap is quite capable of the turning the most rational explorers dreams into the fevered horrors of a Byronesque opiate reverie for decades. 

This awful creature is extremely mobile but stays largely motionless to frustrate scientific observers and potential predators, of which it has none. The boiled stem of the Flytrap has a foul taste not unlike a Spitalfields whore's rennet, if one's memory serves.


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