The Snail

The Zumba love to eat snails, and howl with delight at my tales of our Gallic cousins and their similarly repulsive culinary habits.

African snails are much like those found on our own fair shore, although enormous, carnivorous, and when the notion takes them, the Zumba assure me, lightning fast.

The snail’s pudenda is achingly beautiful, attracting suitors of all species, nationality and social standing.

The snail is horrifyingly promiscuous, and not to be trusted, least of with your heart.